Nightshift:call center agent’s blog

Twenty-three days after the Philippine Daily Inquirer frontpaged the money Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio received in Malacañang, the President’s partymates said that they are the source of the cash gift.

Would anyone believe them? None, I think. Lokohin mo ang lelong mong panot.

The Executive department seems to have searching for the perfect lie they could produce. Well, they are not succeeding. First, Interior Sec. Ronaldo Puno that it may have came from the funds of ULAP, or Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines. “I don’t know where the funds came from. That’s an ULAP thing. ULAP has its own funds,” he said.

The money also did not come from the Department of Budget and Management, as Sec. Rolando Andaya said. The Philippine Gaming Corporation and the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office also claim that they are not the source of the P 500, 000 supposedly given to members of the House of Representatives and local government officials. Former Manila mayor Lito Atienza, on the other hand, admitted of accepting money not just from President Arroyo but from other presidents as well.

Second reason the Palace gave was that the money came from private funds. Chief presidential legal counsel Sergio Apostol however could not identify who was the source of the fund. Por diyos por santo. How can you say that it was a private fund when you do not know who these private entities are, if ever they exist in reality?

The third source of fund was the League of Provinces of the Philippines. “This is for the capacity building program of new governors,” Palawan Gov. Joel Reyes said. You would not see that provision, however in the objectives of the LPP. Panlilio also said that when he contacted the LPP on Oct. 15, they denied giving the money.

Now, Deputy Speaker Amelita Villarosa said that the money came from the President’s party Kabalikat ng Malayang Pilipino. Eh kung di ka ba naman tanga eh, ba’t mo bibigyan si Among Ed eh independent yun nung tumakbo sa Pampanga? The timing will also be questioned as everybody would ask, why only now?

Let’s see, who are the other possible sources of fund? Let’s give our own suggestions so that Malacañang won’t be difficult in making lies.

1. The money came from Erap. If you could remember, the Sandiganbayan found the former president guilty of plunder, or amassing P 545 million of jueteng payoffs plus P 189 million commission from stock market purchases. Perhaps Erap already paid Arroyo the price of his pardon. Taking that into account, we know that the President still has a lot of money to dispose off in the next three years. That is, if she will not be impeached or assassinated…

2. Mike Arroyo might have wired some money to Manila when he went to Hong Kong on Sep. 17. We have to take note that the First Gentleman slipped out of the country on the eve of the Senate investigation on ZTE Broadband scandal. Of course, the money is in dollars. And we would notice that the dollar is getting weaker, so it is safe to say that the Palace connived with the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.

3. ZTE kickbacks. If there was “Sec, may 200 ka dito,” there might have been Gov, may 500 ka dito.

Come’on, give your suggestions. Let me collate all the possible sources of fund and let me forward this to Malacañang. But let’s make the story consistent, unlike that of the Palace’s. Let’s teach the President the art of lying (oops, wrong choice of words. GMA already knows how). Or lets just our people something to laugh at.

Ang sinungaling ay kapatid ng magnanakaw.