Do you know what’s worth fighting for?
When it’s not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you’re at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn’t pass
Nothing’s ever built to last
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it’s time to live and let die
And you can’t get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You’re in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

1. You lose sleep over Facebook

Technically, I don’t sleep over Facebook, but I leave my netbook until it drains its battery when I go to sleep. I do chatting over Facebook instead of Yahoo Messenger or AOL IM.

2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook

What can you expect if you constantly have Internet connection? If your job requires you to communicate over the Internet, and since the opportunity is there, then I login to Facebook.

3. You become obsessed with old loves

Until now, I’ve been trying to remember the names of my elementary school classmates.

4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook

Well, sometimes.

5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat

Maybe I should try not to login to Facebook at least for a day.

So to all my inaanaks, I’m tightfisted this Christmas. But we’ll have lots of food in our house.

Unfortunately, circumstances did not allow me to drink again with my officemates. Last month, they went to Antipolo for a team GA. I wasn’t able to go there because of a previous committment. Last week, they went to Marikina while I was under the sheets. Sarap kayang matulog lalo na pag malakas ang ulan. But I’ll make sure that next time, schedule permitting, I’ll go with my workmates.

Note: I took the picture using a camera phone.

Go to the larger version of this image.

But unlike in the United States, newspaper will not die in the Philippines. At least not yet.

The frontpage today of the Inquirer.

For one, Internet penetration is low. If we were to be believe the survey, only six percent of more than 90 million people in the Philippines have access to the Internet. I bet those who rent in computer shops have more important thing to do than reading newspapers.

Second, a newspaper is easier to read. If I were to choose between an actual paper and an online version, I’d rather read the paper version.

Third, newspaper are used in other purposes. You can recycle it, or make it as pambalot ng tinapa.

Lastly, you cannot use your computer to swat the fly. Plus, you cannot bring it to the bathroom to do number 2.

But in the end, it’s all a matter of Internet accessibility. If all people will have Internet access, eventually, newspapers (the printed copy) will have to go.

Notice this picture. Some dusts are already forming in the five-peso coin that I placed in the screens of my room windows. I’m thankful that I was blessed financially this year with so projects, some I don’t even have time to accomplish.

Looking forward to a prosperous 2009. Happy New Year to all!

Well, not really that new. I just pasted some entries that were published already in Baras Balita and the Comprehensive Land Use Plan. As in mano-mano. Although I am familiar with PHP, I preferred the long and hard method.

I started BRO as an experiment. I thought of it as the “launching pad” of a Joomla-based website that I will proposed to the Municipality of Baras, Rizal. I have seen government websites running in Joomla and I thought that it’s an effective and more practical compared with static HTML webpages. What I initially planned was to put some dummy texts on it. I even created a site map on paper so I would know where to place the pages.

But in some turn of events, I fell in love with my new pet to the extent that I update it more frequently than I do in this blog. Perhaps it was really the journalistic blood in me that I have to deliver some information,  no longer on paper but on the web. Add to that is the fact that I have lot of pictures that would go to waste if not shared with others.

I am actually in a dilemma on what method of writing/journalism I have to use in my entries. One on hand, there is this want to publish only the positive and the lighter side of Barasenians. Feel good articles, kumbaga. A la GoodNewsPilipinas.com. This will be my own way of promoting the town which is left behind by the neighboring terms in terms of economic development.

On the other side, however, is my plan to write whatever the news may be, which, most of the time is bad news. And this is also branched into two.

For one, I can practice observant, detached journalism. I have to interview people, do extensive research and edit before clicking that Publish button. Or, I can also be a public journalist who champions changes to take effect, influencing the stakeholders.  Perhaps a balance of the three would not be bad.

If it’s not a matter of public concern, I will avoid posting entries on political figures. I don’t want to fuel the heated discussion between the opposition and administration. That means lesser entries for Dindo Garciano.

What’s the connection with the 20 Questions? Nothing. Bakit ba, blog ko ‘to eh. (BTW, you an forward this to your email.)

20 Questions ni Juan Ekis — A Must Read Palanca Award Winning Piece.
This play won in the palanca awards, dulaang isang yugto category.

MGA TAUHAN
Jigs ­ Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabaho bilang researcher sa isang financial firm
Yumi ­ Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 years ahead kay Jigs.

TAGPO
Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort. Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa sahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man. Naaawa ako sa’yo e. Tabi na tayo sa kama.

JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.

YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no. Malaki naman itong kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.

JIGS Sure ka?

YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?

JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?

YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot na divider.

JIGS Good idea.

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati ang kama sa gitna. Magse-settle down ang dalawa.
Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya: “Puppy Love and other Stories” ni F. Sionil Jose.
Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng Japanese Zen Music habang nagsa-zazen.

YUMI Do you mind?

JIGS No, go ahead. I’m just reading.

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang di maka-concentrate.
Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

YUMI I can’t believe our friends.

JIGS Oo nga e.

YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ‘to sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada o kaya sa bagong…ay oo nga pala.
Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.

JIGS Thanks.

YUMI So what’re your plans?

JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng BPI sa OTP nila.

YUMI Wow naman. In demand.

JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition anyway?

YUMI (Matatawa) You won’t believe it.

JIGS Ikaw?

YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.

JIGS So why did you start it?

YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa lang siguro noon. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald.
E may crush siya kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ng tradition.
Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kung sino ang mabubunot, silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin
sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we’ll all see what happens. Pero dinaya namin noon yung kay Ronald
at Meg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.

JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!

YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.

JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?

YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?

JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa ‘kin sa barkada e.

YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don’t see any reason kung bakit
tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year, unless may crush ka sa’kin na di ko
alam at alam nila (tatawa).

JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).

YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.

JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang biktima.

YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They’re getting married kailan? Sa June yata.

JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days,
imposibleng walang mangyari doon!

YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)

JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?

YUMI Anong disgrasya?

JIGS Alam mo na ‘yun!

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.

YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa’no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka naman. Di mo masabi.

JIGS Ang alin?

YUMI Ang sex!

JIGS Hah!

YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?

JIGS Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.

YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!

JIGS Excuse me?

YUMI Sabihin mo nga: “Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!”

JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.

YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were in third year.

JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we’re gonna last three days.

YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa’kin?

Di sasagot si Jigs.

YUMI We’re gonna survive this one.

JIGS What makes you so sure?

YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive pero I’ve no time for this.
Alam mo naman siguro na kaka-break ko lang.

JIGS Same here.

YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don’t have time for this?
(Matatawa)

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CD player at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen.
Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng ganang magbasa. Pupunta siya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.

YUMI May chips ba diyan?

JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuha ng chips sa ibabaw ng ref.

YUMI Since we’re gonna be stuck naman with each other for three days,
might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.

JIGS What do you mean?

YUMI Get the wine, let’s have a drink!
50 hours to go na lang and we’re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.

JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.)
When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo na sina Rod and Kay.
Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin sa isa’t isa. Pero us…

YUMI Weird ng barkada natin ‘no?

JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!

YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!

Magto-toast sila at iinom.

JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let’s make our stay here more interesting…

YUMI What’s with the ate?

JIGS Fine…

Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.

JIGS Let’s play twenty questions.

YUMI Sige! Ano yon?

JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita, tatanungin mo ako,
mga gusto nating malaman sa isa’t isa. Alternate tayo. Pero the thing here is,
you can’t ask the question that I already asked.

YUMI That’s pretty interesting.

JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.

YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in the room. Ok?

JIGS Of course. You wanna start?

YUMI No. I want to ask the last question.
(Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)

JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa buhay?

YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge-challenge.
Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.

JIGS Simula pa lang e.

YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba…?

JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?

YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako… I’m a frustrated ballet dancer.

JIGS Talaga?

YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi akong disiplina e.
Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero I really enjoy watching ballet dancers.
When I see them dance parati kong naiisip na sana, ako rin. There!
Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.

JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa’kin mamaya.

YUMI We’ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality?
I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?

JIGS Never.

YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.

JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.

YUMI Homophobe ka ba?

JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?

YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?

JIGS I’m straight, okay?

YUMI I’m not asking if you’re gay or not. I’m asking kung…

JIGS Never nga.

YUMI We all thought na you were gay.
Well at least nung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.

JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!

YUMI E pa’no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi mo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae.
Over ang pagiging gentleman mo! Too good to be true. You have a good body, it seems that you work
out pero iniisip namin front mo lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging maganda
ng katawan nila at pagiging sporty…

Tatawa lang si Jigs.

YUMI So we thought it’s either that or you were planning to become a priest.

JIGS What?!

YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba…

JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.

YUMI Of course not. I didn’t mean that!

JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn’t make me gay!

YUMI So you did want to become a priest…

JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family… and be a father.

Tahimik.

YUMI So you’re not gay.

JIGS No.

YUMI You never…

JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It’s my turn.

YUMI Homophobe ka no?

JIGS Hindi kaya!

YUMI Whatever…

JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.

YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.

JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?

YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.

JIGS The object of this game is not to win.

YUMI E ano pa ba?

JIGS To get to know the other person.

YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill ang isang game kung walang nananalo.

JIGS Sagot.

YUMI May time limit ba ito? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.

JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom) To answer your question,
either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimula ako ng sarili kong botique or bar, o kaya,
magiging artista ako sa pelikula.

JIGS Not bad.

YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies. Tough ang competition e. Saka mahina ang manager ko.
Panay hosting at pictorials ang nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako,
baka magtayo na lang ako ng botique.

JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?

YUMI Yuck!

JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.

YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!

JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib! (Tatawa)

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga! Akala ko goody-goody ka…
Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano’ng mangyari no!
Kahit ganito ako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.

JIGS Ganito? Ano’ng ganito?

Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.

YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex, sex, sex!
Kaya puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?

YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako na’ng magtatanong.
Ang korni mo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nang konti…Inom ka muna.

Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.

YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?

Tahimik.

YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.

JIGS Lalaki o babae?

Tatawa sila pareho.

YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.

Tahimik.

JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.

YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As if naman ibo-broadcast ko sa barkada kung sino.

JIGS Wine pa?

YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.

JIGS Yung crush ko kasi…siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung pinakamaganda sa barkada.

YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa’kin ang pinakagwapo si Joel.
Sa babae, si Kay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg…

JIGS Yung literally na may dating, walang tanung-tanong.
Yung kahit sino’ng tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.

YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing game. C’mon man.
Play your own game. Pa’no na kung truth or dare to e di pahirapan na. Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.

JIGS Yung commercial model.

Matitigilan si Yumi.

YUMI Wine pa nga.

Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglang matatawa.

YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?

JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?

YUMI You can say it to my face, I won’t bite. Bakit hirap na hirap kang sabihin kung sino?
Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lang e… Wine pa nga!

JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na…

YUMI (Ngiti) Gee…thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan naman nangyari ito?

JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush in the barkada… NOW?

YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.

JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang tanong mo, first crush ko.

YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ito, tambak ka na.

JIGS Just answer the question.

YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don’t have time for these stuff. Kakabreak ko lang di ba?

JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.

YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang kailangan kong sumagot..
.hmmm…teka…sino nga ba? Sino ba’ng crush material sa barkada? Wala akong maisip e.
Ikaw na lang.

JIGS Yung seryoso naman.

YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang…

JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.

YUMI Uy! Pa’no ba’yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush kita…yiheee (Tatawa).

JIGS Dati pa ‘yon no!

YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano namang ginawa ko? Tsk. Tsk.

JIGS Is that your question na?

YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman… di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

YUMI Fine. Here’s a little juicy question: Describe your first kiss.

JIGS That’s not even a question.

YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

Matatawa si Jigs.

JIGS Wet.

YUMI Yuck!

Magtatawanan sila.

JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi kami nung isa kong kaibigan.
Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa noo.

E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sa sahig. Tinatamad siyang tumayo.
So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na ako.

E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto, sa lips ko siya nahalikan.
Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga ang feeling e.
Parang may glue! . Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho…

Tawa pa rin si Yumi

YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si Krissy ba ito?

JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.

YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?

JIGS Nope.

YUMI Ha?

JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin e. May boyfriend siya noon.
Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Pero at least, na-discover namin na pareho
pala kaming may gusto sa isa’t isa. Pero hanggang doon na lang.

YUMI What happened after?

JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work. Tapos, bigla na lang,
hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, iba na ang barkada ko.

YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.

JIGS Ikaw, pa’no yung first kiss mo?

YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit ba lagi mong bini-break ang rules?
Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ‘yan!

JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ng wine) Okay, naka-warm-up na ako:
What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?

YUMI ‘Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba’ng ibig mong sabihin ng naughty?

JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.

YUMI Hmmm…marami e…(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.

JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo exciting naman…

YUMI Eto na…I had two boyfriends at the same time.

JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.

YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.

JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?

YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako (matatawa).

JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo’t ginawa mo iyon, aber?

YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang! ako. E sa type ko sila pareho e. Ano’ng magagawa ko?
Saka para may thrill. Alam mo iyon? Yung patago kang nakikipag-date sa isa para di mahuli.
Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi, alternate sila!

(Tatawa) Akala n’yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa no’n?

JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?

YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman ang love dun. I was…having fun!

JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?

YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It’s my turn.

JIGS Don’t you want to answer the question anyway?

YUMI My turn!

JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isa pa sa ref.

JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.

YUMI Are you still a virgin?

JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?

YUMI That’s my fourth question.

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.

YUMI Don’t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni Krissy hanggang ngayon?
Ilang taon na ba kayo?

JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.

YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don’t believe it!

JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?

YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.

JIGS Insulto ba ‘yon?

YUMI Compliment ‘yon, tanga.

JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.

YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?

JIGS Alin? Sex?

YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!

JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ‘yon sa tao no?
Nasa iyo na lang ‘yan kung ano’ng gagawin mo sa urge na ‘yon.

YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean, pag naiihi ka, iihi ka.
Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ‘yon, di ba?

JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi. At hindi ka iihi kahit saan.
Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil kailangan.

At hindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo. Pag di ka gutom, di ka kakain.
Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin. Ang aso, pag may nakitang pagkain diyan,
walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ‘yan.

YUMI And sex is the same?

JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At least, yun ang nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.

YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ring sinabing lahat ng nakikipagsex, aso ah!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto, mali.

YUMI And what is that context?

JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na natin ‘yan.

Tahimik.

JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin ginagawa.

Tahimik.

JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba’ng ayaw nun?

Tahimik.

YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat kang i-congratulate for being a virgin!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit di ko ginagawa.
May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit kanino ang mga paniniwala ko…
No need to get so cross about it, Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS It’s not about being a virgin or not. It’s about putting things into their proper places.

YUMI I’m not arguing with you.

JIGS Me neither. I’m just answering your questions.

Matagal na katahimikan.

Ngingiti si Jigs. Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraang train of conversation nila.
Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.

JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa)
You still wanna go on with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)

YUMI Shoot me.

JIGS Who was your first lay?

YUMI: (Hahampasin ng unan si JIGS) Ang bastos mo talaga! So inaassume mo na
hindi na ako virgin?

JIGS: E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang nananalo e. So I guess I’m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a! I’m just hitting two birds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang ang sagot: wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?

YUMI: Ang daya mo.

JIGS: Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.

YUMI: You think I’ll answer that after giving your sermon, Father JIGS?

JIGS: Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko. Kung ano man ang sa iyo, I’ll respect them as well as I know you respect mine. I’m no saint. I’m just trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)

YUMI: How do you do that?

JIGS: Alin?

YUMI: I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way you say things…parang bumabaliktad sa yo…makes you more…charming. Kung ibang tao ka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.

JIGS: You can’t walk out. We’re locked here for three days except for meals.

YUMI: So I’m forced to like you para di masira ang vacation ko. (Ngingiti)

JIGS: You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want.

YUMI: I guess I’ll be honest with you as you were honest with me…

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

YUMI: Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my first boyfriend. It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo na…typical senior prom story. Everyone wants to lose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it was something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made out sa kotse niya. One thing led to the other. Tapos, yun…yun na. We went back just in time for the awarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa. (Mahinang tawa)

JIGS: What was it like?

YUMI: Now that I look back, it isn’t as special as I thought it was. Pero it was different then. Back then, we were just led by our passions. Alam mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals are confused. Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon. Akala mo you are in-love at lahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect. Everything was magical…well, almost.

JIGS: Almost…?

YUMI: Sa next question mo na ‘yan. Ako na.

JIGS: (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.

YUMI: Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa kin no? (Tatawa)

JIGS: Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)

YUMI: Engot. Hindi yon. Here’s something na curious lang ako. Kasi I’ve been hearing things…saka you’ve hinted on it na rin kanina…Are you still with Krissy?

JIGS: Hindi na.

YUMI: Since when?

JIGS: Two, maybe three weeks ago?

YUMI: Sino’ng nakipag-break?

JIGS: Pareho kami.

YUMI: Why?

JIGS: Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang namin na it won’t work. Isa na don, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay. Magkaiba kami ng mga pinaniniwalaan.

YUMI: Like what?

JIGS: Marami.

YUMI: At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two years with her?

JIGS: People change, YUMI.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Right before graduation, she asked me to move in with her.

YUMI: Talaga?

JIGS: Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta ang relasyon namin. Might as well practice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she’s working na naman, ako naman bagong graduate, we should try out na raw living together if it’ll work for us.

YUMI: Natakot ka sa arrangement?

JIGS: Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, ano pa ng ikakatakot mo, di ba?

YUMI: E bakit umayaw ka?

JIGS: It’s just that, it’s not my thing.

YUMI: ! Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo ang opportunities! (Matatawa)

JIGS: Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.

YUMI: Fine.

JIGS: Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mga ganitong bagay. Wala pa sa isip ko ang gano’n. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality na iyon na nga ang next step sa relationship namin. I mean, two years of being together and knowing each other, we’re practically ready to get married, if you know what I mean. Pero I realized, I’m not ready for any of these. Narealize ko how immature I am. Na iba yung ideals ko two years ago sa ideals ko ngayon. I need to mature some more to get into this thing I mean, getting married. Diyos ko, ilang taon lang ba ako…

YUMI: Maturity has nothing to do with age.

JIGS: But it has a lot to do with time.

Tahimik.

JIGS: So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode? Ibig sabihin, pag sumablay kami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus the commitment? Pa’no pag nawala na yung magic? Goodbye na?

Iinom ng wine si JIGS.

JIGS: Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. I think that’s the real cowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will work kasi takot kayo na baka hindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napunta ang excitement ng buhay? Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap sa totoong buhay, sa hirap at ginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisan muna ninyo para siguradong ginhawa lang.

Magkikibit-balikat lang si JIGS.

YUMI: Are you always like that?

JIGS: Like what?

YUMI: So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sa relationships.

JIGS: Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trial and error.

Ngingiti si JIGS. Tahimik.

YUMI: So, No hard feelings?

JIGS: Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sa bahay e.

YUMI: That’s nice.

JIGS: Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?

YUMI: That’s your sixth na ha?

JIGS: Sure.

YUMI: Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up namin ni Carlo. And the funny thing was, it was about…sex. Uy, sa atin lang ito ha?

JIGS: Of course.

YUMI: Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba? I wanted to be in a relationship na special naman. So of all the boyfriends I had, sa kanya lang ako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstain talaga ako. Kasi parang naisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung making love di ba? Parang, dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo lang when you are sincere with yourself and with your partner. So I was investing muna emotionally. And I was actually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko na iniisip yung sarili ko.Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect na…

JIGS: Ano’ng nangyari?

YUMI: Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay daw ako ng proof. Pagbigyan ko raw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof yon? Na I’m saving myself for that right moment, that special moment between us? Alam mo’ng ginawa? Nilayasan ako!

JIGS: You deserve someone better.

YUMI: Talaga!

YUMI: Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired of meaningless sex, when I’m looking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Ang ironic ng buhay no?

JIGS: That’s the way we must learn.

YUMI: Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pang na-experience yung tunay na mag make-love. And I had to go all through those relationships para lang ma-realize yun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.

Iinom ng wine.

YUMI: Ikaw ba, importante sa yo na virgin ang mapapangasawa mo? How do you see virginity ba?

JIGS: Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan yan. Pero now that you ve mentioned it…It doesn’t matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi. Of course I value virginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift I could give to my wife to be. Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko. It’s like the perfect wedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindi na virgin, I wouldn’t care. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don’t expect her to give me the same gift. I don’t do something because I expect people to do the same to me. Ibigay niya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat na sa akin yon. Masaya na ako sa ganoon.

YUMI: (Mapapangiti si YUMI.) You know, that’s the nicest thing I ever heard from a guy. That’s why I always enjoy talking to you. You always say the nicest things.

JIGS: Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equal to love?

YUMI: I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. I mean, after the first time na…you know…sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, we broke up na ni Robert. Tapos naisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yung naramdaman ko. Baka napagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after the pleasure of intimacy. And then I felt empty. So empty. That’s why I wanted to change. I wanted to believe in making love. And I’m still looking for it. Yung magic. Yung feeling mo, tao ka pala. I never felt that kahit isang beses. Men have penetrated my body but never my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone to touch my soul. To make love to my soul through my body. Pero siguro, naging numb na ko sa dami ng relasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kung mararanasan ko pa iyon. That’s why I envy you.

Tahimik.

YUMI: Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?

JIGS: You still have your soul…(Ngingiti)

Tahimik.

YUMI: With whom would you want to experience it?

JIGS: Of course, sa asawa ko.

YUMI: I mean, someone in particular. Take it as my seventh question.So give a name.

JIGS: A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino ang magiging asawa ko.

Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si YUMI. Iinom ng wine.

JIGS: Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. And then, it was just gone. Of course I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic was just gone after we both found out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.

Tahimik.

JIGS: My turn?

YUMI: Shoot me.

JIGS: Tell me something…a secret. Yung wala kahit isang nakakaalam.

Matagal na katahimikan.

JIGS: You trust me naman di ba?

YUMI: Well, you’ve earned it, alright.

JIGS: Saka wala akong tinatago sa yo. Sinagot ko lahat ng tanong mo as honestly as I could. (Ngingiti)

YUMI: I uhm…

JIGS: Yes…?

YUMI: I need more wine.

Magsasalin si JIGS ng wine.

JIGS: Take your time. We have less than fifty hours to go.

Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

YUMI: I’ll tell you something no one in the world knows except one other person. And that person probably forgot all about me already.

JIGS: (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?

YUMI: Ano ka ba?

JIGS: Biro lang. Seryoso na.

YUMI: Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.

JIGS: Promise.

YUMI: If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit sa libingan mo. Huhukayin kita at papatayin kita ulit.

JIGS: Mamatay man ako ngayon.

YUMI: Okay…(Pause) I…I was with Joel then… (Magiging mas seryoso ang tono niya) …and Zach. I wasn’t really with Zach, I was just going out with him pag wala si Joel, alam mo na…making out and stuff…Well, anyway, I was kinda serious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and I were…you know…doing it. And…

JIGS: And…?

YUMI: Uhm…I…uhm…I got pregnant.

JIGS: What?

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si YUMI.

YUMI: I uhm…shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e. Uhm…Two months akong delayed…then I took that test. I found out na buntis nga ako…and Joel found out about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn’t know what to say, you know? Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw lang ako kay Zach? Na I didn’t really love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke up with me and…I..uhm…I was afraid and uhm…(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)

JIGS: It’s okay…

YUMI: I uhm…hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joel left me. I wanted to tell him about the baby to make him come back but I don’t think he’d believe me after the thing with Zach…and…my parents are gonna kill me if…shit. (iiyak)

JIGS: (lalapit kay YUMI para i-console ito) Ssshhh…you don’t have to tell me this if it upsets you…

YUMI: And so I went to a clinic…(hahagulgol) I didn’t mean to, JIGS. I wasn’t myself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone…

JIGS: Tahan na. Ssshhh…

Iiyak lang si YUMI kay JIGS. Yayakapin ni JIGS si YUMI.

JIGS: Alam ba to ni Joel?

YUMI: How can I tell him? The only other person na nakakaalam ay yung duktor sa clinic. God…(iiyak) Oh God…

JIGS: It’s alright…

Hihimasin ni JIGS ang likod ni YUMI. Patatahanin niya ito. Matagal silang nakaganito lang.

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI: Can you get me my yosi?

Tatayo si JIGS. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ng kama. Kukunin ang Yosi ni YUMI. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay YUMI.

YUMI: Thanks…

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI: If we were…if we were the last two people on earth, would you consider doing it with me?

JIGS: Doing what?

YUMI: Alam mo na…

JIGS: Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)

YUMI: Gago mo. (Ngingiti)

JIGS: Ngumiti rin.

YUMI: So? Would you?

JIGS: Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi? (Pagtatawanan si YUMI)
Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

YUMI: Shut up nga!

JIGS: That’s your eight na, ha?

YUMI: I lost count. Answer it.

JIGS: Why not?

Hihithit ng yosi si YUMI. Tahimik. Sasandal si YUMI sa balikat ni JIGS.

JIGS: If you could be something else, what would you be?

YUMI: I dunno…maybe a violin…yeah. Violin siguro.

JIGS: Bakit?

YUMI: I always saw the relationship of a violin and its player as very intimate. Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko at naririnig ko, he strokes the soul of the instrument and the instrument penetrates the soul of the player. Para silang nagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy, very intimate, very sublime. Di ba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa’t isa. Dahil kung hindi sila sincere, walang music na mabubuo. The violin surrenders her body to her player, her whole body and her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Di ba, compared to the sound of the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin parang isang naked woman? A naked woman in surrender? I want to be a violin. I want to be stroked in the soul. I want to make sincere music. I want to experience the sound of love.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)

YUMI: Pa’no mo malalamang in-love ka na?

JIGS: Paano? I! Don’t think there s a formula to that. Basta malalaman mo na lang. I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin yon? I’d like to believe na yun na nga yon…yung kay Krissy…

YUMI: Kwento mo nga…paano mo narealize dati na mahal mo nga si Krissy?

JIGS: Alam mo nakakatawa…korni actually. Babalik na naman ako sa pagiging korni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.

YUMI: Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.

JIGS: I heard bells.

YUMI: Ano?

JIGS: Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami, may narinig na lang akong bells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang yon pero yun ang nangyari. Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.

YUMI: Seryoso ka ba?

JIGS: O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, may nagkakantahan sa kung saan sa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Tapos napangiti ako. Pagtingin ko sa mata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siya nakita as kabarkada lang. Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduy pero ganun. Tapos I just seized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.

YUMI: Korni nga. (Matatawa)

JIGS: Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na. Pag naranasan mo na, feeling mo, hindi na korni.

Ngingiti si YUMI. Tahimik.

YUMI: Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin ang boses mo. O lasing lang ako?

Tahimik.

JIGS: I’m into my last question.

Iaangat ni YUMI: ang ulo niya.

YUMI: Shoot me. Better make it good.

JIGS: If you were again to be the next victim of this tradition, if you were to be locked up in this room again…who would you want the next guy to be?

YUMI: (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talk to… Yung makukwentuhan ko ng mga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung may laman. The violin player who’d stroke my strings…not even. Yung mapapatunog niya ang strings ko without even touching them. (Tahimik) Lumuluwag na ang dila ko…kung anu-ano na ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)

Tititigan lang ni JIGS si YUMI. Tahimik.

YUMI: Siyempre yung masarap kausap.

Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si YUMI.

YUMI: Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundi mag-usap… I think it’s better than making love.

Mapapatingin si YUMI kay JIGS.

YUMI: Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.

Matitigilan siya.

YUMI: I can’t believe I just said that.

Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si JIGS.

YUMI: Don’t you want to kiss me?

Pause. Titignan siya ni JIGS sa mata.

JIGS: Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si JIGS)

YUMI: Yes.

JIGS: Yes.

DILIM…

These are the days when devotees from Metro Manila hold their Alay Lakad, from Quiapo Church to Antipolo Church.

I had a difficulty getting a ride last April 30. I have to cover the Tromba Festival in my hometown Baras, Rizal, so I have to get a rest early. My schedule was 2 – 11 PM, but since we are on training, we were allowed to go home early. I got out of the office at 10:30 at immediately took a cab, right in front of Cybermall. When we approached the traffic light in the corner of E. Rodriguez and Ortigas avenues, I already saw the procession of images of saints. I thought of going to Crossing in Edsa Central since the jeepney terminal is there, but I changed my mind.

In Junction, Cainta, a lot of people were waiting for a ride. Minutes later, a jeep bound to Tanay finally arrived. I was lucky to get a ride since there was only one seat remaining. After an hour, I was able to finally get home and take some shots of the amateur singing contest in our town plaza.

It could be remembered that last Maundy Thursday, I also had a difficulty getting a ride on the way to the office. That basically means that I have to file a leave on Holy Week and April 30, May 1 and 2.