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Mouth ulcer. In Tagalog, singaw. Currently, my mouth is really sore perhaps because of the lack of sleep. Tell you what, tawas is really effective. I have tried Listerine, toothpaste, salt, oral betadine and none of them worked as better as tawas.

Stye aka kuliti. Supposedly, you get this when you peep on someone.

Carbuncle. Popularly known as pigsa. Mahirap umupo kung may pigsa ka sa pwet.

Sore eyes. I bet your supervisor will encourage you to stay home to prevent an epidemic in the office.

Haduken. (verb). Supposedly the new term for “pitik,” which is a deliberate action of putting oneself at the end of the queue in order to get less calls.

Santo Niño. (adverb). The voice of an agent whenever he/she is “paos” or “minamalat.” The term is derived from how people, allegedly possessed by the child Jesus, sound like.

Worst Force. (noun, but could also be an adjective). Refers to the department who creates the schedule and whom we call whenever we will be absent for the shift. They are properly called “workforce,” but because of the bad schedule they give to the agents, they are the least liked department. Another variation is work horse, an adjective referring to how people in the department looks like.

2. Kaliwa, kaliwa. Maluwag yan, araw-araw ginagamit yan.

3. This one I just heard last Thursday: Cubao, Cubao, kasya pa. Pili kayo ng kalapit.

Pumipitik. (verb) from the root word “pitik” which is a hand gesture. This is a deliberate lifting of the handset (or handphone) or making changes in the auxes, so that the agent will be in the last position in the list of the queue. This apply mosts in inbound calls. Once an agent makes a “pitik” after each and every call, he will get lesser calls than normal since he’s always last in line.

Inaalat. (adverb) Failure to meet the targets. In sales account, this means lesser sales, or high AHTs (average handle time) in most of the inbound accounts.

Petiks mode. (adjective) Relaxed. Nothing to do. Less calls.

Nangangasoy. (adverb). Forcing a customer to do something that is faster and easier for the agent. An example is, instead of going through all the possible troubleshooting steps in a desktop computer, a reinstallation of the operating system is done.

Brasuhan. (verb). Similar to “pangagasoy,” but applies especially to outbound, sales account. Using sweet language and tricks, an agent will do everything just to make a lead or sale.

Rasyon. (noun). A set of porn delivered to your mailboxes in a regular interval. This may come in a form of sex stories, photos, videos – all condensed in a zip file.

Ninja. (verb). An act of illegally accessing one’s email. An agent hops into another agent’s station without the latter’s knowledge and sends a short email, something like “I love you” to a a distribution list or a group of recipients.

The customer’s computer is frozen to the screen that says Windows is shutting down. It’s been sitting there for three hours. People who is familiar with how Windows works should at least know that if the screen is frozen, you need to manually turn the machine off.

If I use Herbert, people would hear it as Robert, Albert, Rupert and anything else that has “ert” in the end.

But how come some customers still hear it as Yusef? Am I a Muslim or something? Whenever they heard my name incorrectly, I just tell them, “Ma’am/Sir, it’s Joseph, as in Mary, Jesus and Joseph.” So far, I haven’t encountered a customer who might be an atheist who doesn’t know these persons. My teammates heard this when I was already shouting to the customer because he did not get my name right. Jen said, “Wow, religious!” Is Joseph, in any way near to Ronald?

My very first customer in the call center where I am currently working is a Filipino. I was then deployed in a special project. There were questions that we need to ask the customer before we could assist them (including the name, phone number, if the call was a transfer call or direct call, etc). He said “I was transferred by your kababayan.”

That made me smile a little bit. In March, I also had a Filipino customer, this time, calling from the Philippines. I was able to trace the phone number (thanks to Google) to an advertising company based in Salcedo Village in Makati. Ms. Rivera is a staff of an American who owns the computer, and is complaining because the repair center in the Philippines did not fix their computer but did more damage to it. Since it’s a complaint, I have to refer her to our complaints department, but since it’s already 9 am, the department is already closed. So she has to call us at night.

This morning, Mr. Ferrer wants to order a reformat disk. What happened was that his friend tinkered with his computer which is capable of viewing and recording television show. He said that what he only does in his computer is to watch The Filipino Channel. He wasn’t able to order the disk because of invalid credit card. He offered me a cheque but we do not accept that so I asked for another card. He said that he could not provide one because he hasn’t paid the balance yet.

What made our conversation even more interesting is that he kept trying to find out if I am a Filipino. Had he asked me directly if I am a Filipino then I would answer him. But I have to follow the script.

While I’m busy validating and checking the orders for the shift before I submit them, I saw a thick smoke in our office’s window. It’s 7 in the morning and I cannot help but ask where the black smoke is coming from in the Ortigas area.

I thought we had a local version of 9/11. Just look at the photos below taken throught my Nokia 7200.

According to the jeepney driver, there was a fire in the building opposite the medical laboratory in Pioneer in Mandaluyong. But based on the article in the Philippine Star, the building is in Barangay Kapitolyo in Pasig. It was a warehouse of a garments factory.